This piece of humor is derived with humility and total homage from Scene 35 of Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie script. They influenced my life more than they will ever know.
KING ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Professionalism!
ROBIN: Oh, great.
KNIGHT: Look!
ARTHUR: There’s the old man from the association!
BEDEMIR: What is he doing here?
ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Professionalism. He asks each traveler five ITIL questions–
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five ITIL questions–
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three correct ITIL questions and you may cross in safety.
ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?
ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternally Bad Professionals.
ROBIN: Oh, I won’t go.
KNIGHT: Who’s going to answer the questions?
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ROBIN: Yes?
ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
ROBIN: Hey! I’ve got a great idea. Why doesn’t Launchalot go? LAUNCHALOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east–
ARTHUR: No, no, hang on, hang on, hang on! Just answer the five questions–
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch… and pray.
LAUNCHALOT: I understand, my liege.
ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launchalot. God be with you.
KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Professionalism must answer me these ITIL questions three, ‘ere the other side he see.
LAUNCHELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I’m not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
LAUNCHALOT: My name is Sir Launchalot of Changealot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
LAUNCHALOT: To seek the highest level of Professionalism and the ITIL Expert Designation.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
LAUNCHALOT: Pink.
KEEPER: Right. Off you go.
LAUNCHALOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
ROBIN: That’s easy!
KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Professionalism must answer me these ITIL questions three, ‘ere the other side he see.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I’m not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Changealot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ROBIN: To seek the highest level of Professionalism and the ITIL Expert Designation.
KEEPER: What is missing from this representation of the Service Pipeline and Catalog diagram from page 74 of Service Strategy?
ROBIN: I don’t know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Changealot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the highest level of Professionalism and the ITIL Expert Designation.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel– Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
ARTHUR: It is I KING ARTHUR, King of the Britons and Realm of Best Practices.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ARTHUR: To seek the highest level of Professionalism and the ITIL Expert Designation.
KEEPER: What is the stated responsibility of the unladen process owner?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? Are you referring to the description in the Service Design or Service Transition book?
KEEPER: What? I don’t know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
BEDEVERE: How do know so much about process owners?
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king you know.
Copyright 2010 Outside-In Service Management™
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